Business is good. Life is good. And like all things, there are mixed messages in those statements. As the Chinese farmer said, “maybe so, maybe not”. The minute we begin to think things are at their worst-or their best- life is guaranteed to…shift.
I haven’t posted here since Thanksgiving; haven’t picked up a paintbrush in forever, and while I still work out every day, those long lingering mornings of yoga and conversation have evaporated. I miss them- I miss the creative energy that was part of my personal “downtime”, miss the wonderful people I shared that time with; miss the freedom of having time to “play” every day. I don’t miss the stress of worrying where the next project would be, the helplessness of seeing my savings evaporate, the despair of watching my friend’s businesses, homes, assets and aspirations slide silently away.
Three years ago, in the deepest dip of this “great recession”, with a slight sense of desperation, I was using every tool I could find to keep balance- including standing on my head. I (re)learned some key lessons: 1) I’m a survivor and 2) nothing is ever quite as bad- or as important as it seems- except time. Given time- and its companion, patience- all else can be fixed, altered, redefined. I can look back already and see that through the insecure shifts of these challenging years, firmer foundations were laid, lessons learned, laughter shared, and deeper friendships flourished.
I say this as I watch my children work to find traction in their lives and careers. It’s still not easy for them- solid opportunities are scarce. The tools I was able to give them didn’t include much in the way of money, so they’ve had to be creative. I see them setting their own foundations with thought and care, and I know they will weather the best and worst that life can bring- together.
Some of my most difficult times turned out to be the most fruitful; when I felt what it was like to stand on one leg, tip forward and…fall flat on my face. When there’s less to lose, and less distance to fall, we’re more likely to take risks. And in those risks we become more honest with ourselves, more clear about what matters and more open to experimentation. And sometimes, maybe, even have....fun. Remember that?
I was taught to put my chin down, nose to the grindstone-get tough in tough times. In these last few years I’ve reevaluated that mindset. Maybe, maybe not. While it’s important to be responsibly aware of the tasks at hand, yoga taught me to look forward, soften my gaze and relax. It’s impossible to balance when clenched like a fist, and that’s true not only with effort expended physically, but in heart and mind as well. When I (fleetingly, sporadically) remember that, life is (ever so briefly) a breeze.
From down I looked up, found words and images, friends and family, and love in all its flavors. And in some small measure, balance of a softer sort that I hope to use wisely as the shifting tides of work and life slide me off-center. As they will.
I’m always an optimist at heart…as long as I’m looking ahead…
