A Little Thanks…

I was reading and writing, absorbed in ideas, thinking about the “direction of design” when I looked up from my words, saw the date and paused. It’s the weekend before Thanksgiving, I’m the cook this year and I hadn’t really thought about any of it or started to plan. And as my fog lifted, I realized that that’s actually an amazing thing, quite wonderful in fact.

I’m lucky and I try not to take that for granted. My kids still like me and want come home, they like each other, like my friends and don’t really care what gets done or doesn’t. We pretty much have the Norman Rockwell of Holiday Celebrations, whether it’s at home or elsewhere- friends, laughter, too much food and (almost) no meltdowns in the preparation. Which is probably why, lately, it sneaks up on me and I’m unprepared; never painted that room, still haven’t knocked down the wall to make the dining room bigger, haven’t polished the silver or ordered the free range fresh killed organic turkey. As a designer, I know the “devil is in the details”, but on these occasions, of late, they just don’t seem all that important. Sure, I’ll pull out the tarnished silver, dust off the china and it’ll all look and feel like a holiday. Dinner will get cooked, we’ll all sit down, eat too much, drink too much and laugh a lot.

My Zen mindset wasn’t always this evolved. Used to be my type “A” side would kick in big time before the holidays- lists grew lists; rolls had to be kneaded and cranberries strained, at least one pie per person, menus planned, recipes pored over; my fridge overflowed. I would frantically run from work to schools to stores to nights in the kitchen, all to create “Dinner of the Year”. Sure, all that practice has given me an edge, so I can still assemble a reasonably downsized representation of those elaborate productions without too much sweat. But I’m thinking it’s more than that. This year, more than any other, I am most aware of the “big picture”.

The gathered group shifts somewhat each year depending on who’s around, who’s moved, who’s traveling, who’s family in Connecticut decided to host, who’s “left us”, who’s “joined us”, who’s married or divorced. There’s been joy in the additions, sadness in the losses and times when it seemed very, very hard to celebrate. But the datum, the constant, what really matters is that we all stop (on a weekday no less), take a deep breath, look at each other and see the good. Whatever we lost or gained in this year, whatever we’ve struggled with, there is continuity in life and this ritual dinner is a moment to just share. And today I am more aware than ever that what I have is a gift not to be taken lightly.

Much to give thanks for, most important for the people in my life. So, thank you, all of you who read this, those I will see and those I won’t, for adding to my life in ways that have made this year unique and rich in new experiences, and who add to that continuity of connection.

More on design after next week, if I’m not wigged out about Christmas.