Abundance…..

A word I’ve been thinking a lot about lately, as I’ve watched my own and friend's situations become more constricted by financial stress.

We’ve all built our dreams based upon growth. And we’ve all watched the monetary results of those dreams compromised by economic constriction in the past couple of years. I’ve seen friends who built businesses with their backs to the wall as they laid off long term employees who were as much family as friends; I’ve seen us all become fearful of our futures and stability as our bank accounts dwindled and work evaporated. And the stress has affected us all.

In the midst of this, we’ve all not only survived, but made adjustments. At first we were in shock from the shift, as in all changes in life. No, we’re not buying as many “things”. And maybe we can’t have “as much” as we thought. But maybe it’s time to think again about what we do have and what we can make of it.

I bought a house myself 5 years ago. It’s a little house and I’ve diverted thinking about what I wanted to do waiting for the time when I’d have “enough money” to do “the project”. I watched the value of my house keep climbing and then plummet- all on paper. I still have the house; it’s still full of the people I love and the things I’ve accumulated over the years. And maybe I just need to rethink that project and make it happen instead of waiting until there’s “enough”.

So, I’ve redrawn the plans to be more modest and manageable. And this fall I’m going ahead and doing it. Because my real priority is to create a space where the people I care about can be together and share. It will be beautiful, maybe less “perfect” than my original plan. But it will “abundantly” accommodate my dream.

I thought about this when I was working with a young couple recently. They’ve bought a lovely house on beautiful property, but it’s a rabbit warren of rooms. Built in the 50’s, it’s a relic of a different lifestyle. Long gone are the days of “formal” dining on china when we hid the pots and the chaos of preparing for our guests. We no longer present perfect meals on silver platters. Our lives are more integrated and less secret- we gather, we connect in conversation, we chop and cook together with our children under foot. We watch Bittman and Flay, and talk about how to marinade and grill. The walls have come down between men and women, work and home, and food has become play. Gone is the need for those formal spaces, and as our budgets constrict we decide what’s most important.

This young couple was looking to make a charming but quaint icon of a house work for the life that they live, not a past memory of what “home” was supposed to be. And their budget was “limited”. That turned out to be a powerful and positive thing, because they’ve thought carefully about what they really need and want. They set priorities and worked on a plan that would give them what they need now and allow for growth- both the house and their family- over time. The house will and can work, and the changes can happen over time- or not, but the space will still be great, and much more suited to the way they live.  And it won’t require granite countertops or professional ranges (though that can stay on the wish list) for their house to become home.

 And as money becomes less tight (as it will), the question will be what do we need and want to invest, not how much do we have? Will we need those “memory rooms”, the formal spaces that are largely uninhabited? Some of us may choose to have them- and that’s great. But I think that the lesson of today is that we don’t have to stop dreaming- or realizing our dreams. We need to rethink what dreaming- or abundance-means, in all parts of our lives, including our homes, and then get on with it.